A teacher is explaining biology to her 1st grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says. A little girl raises her
hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew
it,he jumped over the fence into our yard'.
'That must've been scary', said the teacher.
<>'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...and before he could say 'Fuck', the rottweiler ate him!'
Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
New Tat
Leaving work early today to get a new Tattoo.
I'll get pictures posted as soon as my lazy ass feels like it.
I'll get pictures posted as soon as my lazy ass feels like it.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Life progression
Went to visit mom & dad this yesterday.
When the OL & I got to the front door I can hear my mom yelling........."it's open, com'on in."
Sure the inside door was open, but the screen door was locked. Why would you lock a screen door? If someone is coming to your house to rob you, I don't think a screen door will stop them??
Anyway, mom let's us in. Usual hugs and kisses, and I procede to the back deck to see dad. He's sitting in a chair in the sun relaxing. I do the same. Soon mom and wife come out and we all sit and chat. Chat turns to how nice the sun feels, and how great it would be to nap. After a 1/2 hr we ALL wake up, clean the line of drool that has left ours mouths and attached to our shirts, say our good-byes and we drive back home.
Nothing like catching up with mom & dad!!!
When the OL & I got to the front door I can hear my mom yelling........."it's open, com'on in."
Sure the inside door was open, but the screen door was locked. Why would you lock a screen door? If someone is coming to your house to rob you, I don't think a screen door will stop them??
Anyway, mom let's us in. Usual hugs and kisses, and I procede to the back deck to see dad. He's sitting in a chair in the sun relaxing. I do the same. Soon mom and wife come out and we all sit and chat. Chat turns to how nice the sun feels, and how great it would be to nap. After a 1/2 hr we ALL wake up, clean the line of drool that has left ours mouths and attached to our shirts, say our good-byes and we drive back home.
Nothing like catching up with mom & dad!!!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Black Out
Sooooooooooo, I went to the hospital yesterday for some test.
They needed to do a Blood Gas test. Oh boy, doesn't that sound like fun? During this little test just sticking a needle in your veins is not good enough, noooooooooooo, "we have to get the blood from your arteries, and then you breath pure oxygen for 15 minutes, and then we stick you with the needle again, in your arteries"
Well, that mother fucking needle goes in, past all known veins down into the artery and oingo bongo, out comes the blood, in theory. Not me. Let's stick the needle in, not find the artery, and wait a few minutes and try again!!!!!
In the mean time, I get light-headed, get up to go back to the waiting area, and all of a sudden my legs get wobbly, everything slows down, and BAM, down I go.
I hear the blood-sucker yell "code blue." My wife freaks because she only knows code blue as "get help, this m f'er is dying"
I awake after only a few seconds of empty brain syndrome, and there are 20 people standing there staring @ me. I ask what are we celebrating and where's the cake? They call for a stretcher to take me to the emergency room for tests. After drawing 3 viels of blood (from my vein) I lay ther for 3 hours waiting for the test results............3 HOURS!!!!!!!. It doesn't take that long to process a dead body. I ask the nurse if I can leave and he says sure,I can leave anytime I want.
He gets the doctor who of course advises against it, not because she's worried about me, but because of the liability factor. I say in my deepest manly voice, "I don't care, I leaving" She runs and gets a waver form for me to sign, and I'm off. Of course I'm not off to leave the hospital, I have to see another doctor!!!!
The day could not have ended soon enough!!!!!
How was your day?
They needed to do a Blood Gas test. Oh boy, doesn't that sound like fun? During this little test just sticking a needle in your veins is not good enough, noooooooooooo, "we have to get the blood from your arteries, and then you breath pure oxygen for 15 minutes, and then we stick you with the needle again, in your arteries"
Well, that mother fucking needle goes in, past all known veins down into the artery and oingo bongo, out comes the blood, in theory. Not me. Let's stick the needle in, not find the artery, and wait a few minutes and try again!!!!!
In the mean time, I get light-headed, get up to go back to the waiting area, and all of a sudden my legs get wobbly, everything slows down, and BAM, down I go.
I hear the blood-sucker yell "code blue." My wife freaks because she only knows code blue as "get help, this m f'er is dying"
I awake after only a few seconds of empty brain syndrome, and there are 20 people standing there staring @ me. I ask what are we celebrating and where's the cake? They call for a stretcher to take me to the emergency room for tests. After drawing 3 viels of blood (from my vein) I lay ther for 3 hours waiting for the test results............3 HOURS!!!!!!!. It doesn't take that long to process a dead body. I ask the nurse if I can leave and he says sure,I can leave anytime I want.
He gets the doctor who of course advises against it, not because she's worried about me, but because of the liability factor. I say in my deepest manly voice, "I don't care, I leaving" She runs and gets a waver form for me to sign, and I'm off. Of course I'm not off to leave the hospital, I have to see another doctor!!!!
The day could not have ended soon enough!!!!!
How was your day?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I was demanded
It was requested, ney, demanded that I update my blog because it's been a year or so since I have had anything to add.
Well, I'm updating it.
Ever find something that you lost and thought was gone forever? I had. I lost contact with a precious blogger friend. Lo and behold as I was strolling down blogger lane I came across Jungle Janes blog. It was like leaving the smog of NYC and entering the wooded hills of upstate New York. My eyes opened wide, I could breath like I hadn't in a long time. I had found happiness.
I've missed a lot of people during my long time on the planet, and some I don't miss at all.
But I dearly missed the bloggings of one of most animated and truly one of the funniest persons to ever walk Satan's green earth.
Now that I have found you again, I will tag you like vets do with dogs, wait that doesn't sound good.
Now that I have found your blog again, I will hold it close to my chest and never let it go.
Well, I'm updating it.
Ever find something that you lost and thought was gone forever? I had. I lost contact with a precious blogger friend. Lo and behold as I was strolling down blogger lane I came across Jungle Janes blog. It was like leaving the smog of NYC and entering the wooded hills of upstate New York. My eyes opened wide, I could breath like I hadn't in a long time. I had found happiness.
I've missed a lot of people during my long time on the planet, and some I don't miss at all.
But I dearly missed the bloggings of one of most animated and truly one of the funniest persons to ever walk Satan's green earth.
Now that I have found you again, I will tag you like vets do with dogs, wait that doesn't sound good.
Now that I have found your blog again, I will hold it close to my chest and never let it go.
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