Ffffffff

A teacher is explaining biology to her 1st grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says. A little girl raises her
hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew
it,he jumped over the fence into our yard'.
'That must've been scary', said the teacher.
<>'It sure was', said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'...and before he could say 'Fuck', the rottweiler ate him!'

New Tat

Leaving work early today to get a new Tattoo.

I'll get pictures posted as soon as my lazy ass feels like it.

Life progression

Went to visit mom & dad this yesterday.

When the OL & I got to the front door I can hear my mom yelling........."it's open, com'on in."
Sure the inside door was open, but the screen door was locked. Why would you lock a screen door? If someone is coming to your house to rob you, I don't think a screen door will stop them??

Anyway, mom let's us in. Usual hugs and kisses, and I procede to the back deck to see dad. He's sitting in a chair in the sun relaxing. I do the same. Soon mom and wife come out and we all sit and chat. Chat turns to how nice the sun feels, and how great it would be to nap. After a 1/2 hr we ALL wake up, clean the line of drool that has left ours mouths and attached to our shirts, say our good-byes and we drive back home.

Nothing like catching up with mom & dad!!!

Black Out

Sooooooooooo, I went to the hospital yesterday for some test.

They needed to do a Blood Gas test. Oh boy, doesn't that sound like fun? During this little test just sticking a needle in your veins is not good enough, noooooooooooo, "we have to get the blood from your arteries, and then you breath pure oxygen for 15 minutes, and then we stick you with the needle again, in your arteries"

Well, that mother fucking needle goes in, past all known veins down into the artery and oingo bongo, out comes the blood, in theory. Not me. Let's stick the needle in, not find the artery, and wait a few minutes and try again!!!!!

In the mean time, I get light-headed, get up to go back to the waiting area, and all of a sudden my legs get wobbly, everything slows down, and BAM, down I go.
I hear the blood-sucker yell "code blue." My wife freaks because she only knows code blue as "get help, this m f'er is dying"

I awake after only a few seconds of empty brain syndrome, and there are 20 people standing there staring @ me. I ask what are we celebrating and where's the cake? They call for a stretcher to take me to the emergency room for tests. After drawing 3 viels of blood (from my vein) I lay ther for 3 hours waiting for the test results............3 HOURS!!!!!!!. It doesn't take that long to process a dead body. I ask the nurse if I can leave and he says sure,I can leave anytime I want.
He gets the doctor who of course advises against it, not because she's worried about me, but because of the liability factor. I say in my deepest manly voice, "I don't care, I leaving" She runs and gets a waver form for me to sign, and I'm off. Of course I'm not off to leave the hospital, I have to see another doctor!!!!
The day could not have ended soon enough!!!!!

How was your day?

I was demanded

It was requested, ney, demanded that I update my blog because it's been a year or so since I have had anything to add.

Well, I'm updating it.

Ever find something that you lost and thought was gone forever? I had. I lost contact with a precious blogger friend. Lo and behold as I was strolling down blogger lane I came across Jungle Janes blog. It was like leaving the smog of NYC and entering the wooded hills of upstate New York. My eyes opened wide, I could breath like I hadn't in a long time. I had found happiness.

I've missed a lot of people during my long time on the planet, and some I don't miss at all.
But I dearly missed the bloggings of one of most animated and truly one of the funniest persons to ever walk Satan's green earth.

Now that I have found you again, I will tag you like vets do with dogs, wait that doesn't sound good.
Now that I have found your blog again, I will hold it close to my chest and never let it go.

For Jane

This is a slinky

Ahhhhhhhh....all I need now is a TV

Deep Thoughts

Barry Bonds Rookie Card

VW Pubis

The police of Los Angeles recently found some amusement filling out papers to register a series of car accidents.

As it turned out, drivers were losing control and running into other vehicles upon seeing a women's giant pubis displayed on the front part of an oncoming car.

The LA police started frantically looking for the dangerous pubis and came upon the tracks of a young hairdresser named Nelly Node.

Nelly's passion for the arts made the young woman photograph her own crotch and put the zoomed picture on her Volkswagen Beetle.

Nelly decided to use this as a shameless method to prepare her college course work in which she analyzed the art of design. The witty student's idea worked for the college professors, as she received an "A" in the course.

She was proudly driving her "pubic beetle" until the police arrested her.

The court ruled that Nelly's car was creating a dangerous situation on the roads, and she was required to paint over her car's hood.

Weekly Poem

CINDERELLA wants to ! go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."

Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"

"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking
love struck and very satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."

The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!"

Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,!
Peter, Peter, something or other..."

my favorite poem

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

"What have you got there?"

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

"Pies, you dumb ass!"

Most of the people I work with

S L O W

It's been pretty slow aroud here lately, although the OL & I went to see Le Mis lastnight. It's the 2nd time I've seen it, and I finally realized it's not me, the play just isn't that great.

Oh well, we had a good night out, dinner was the highlight and she enjoyed herself. So I guess that's all that matters

Only 50%, I'm not trying hard enough

You Are 50% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Test

motorcycle

Sleepless in NJ

The boxer is all comfortable on the blanket beside the bed, snoring and farting his way through the night. The poodle is laying on his back like some cheap doggy whore.
Wife is all nice and snuggly under blankets, with 1 leg hanging out to ward off night sweats, cursing the change of life.
Me? I'm wide awake wondering if I forwarded the phone at work for anyone that calls after hours, fucking assholes, it's night time, go home and quit calling me for help!!!
Roll over, nose gets all clogged up, roll back, piss time haunts me. I'm not getting up to piss, I can outlast this nagging urge. Damnit, no I can't. Stumble to the bathroom, pee with lights out, hoping that the seat is up and I'm actually peeing in the bowl.
Back to bed, try watching tv, but it's so late all that's on is infomercials and I don't need any new cookware, carpet stain remover, or new info on how to invest money I don't have.

Going to be a long day at work. Maybe boss will go home early and I can catch up on some sleep?

Stalking

Nothing new to post here about my drab existence.

I've mostly been stalking other blogs this week, other then the 1's I normally frequent and bother (Crabby, MM, Jane)

My favorite this week has been Tumbleweed.........nice panties.
Another has been Satan's blog. If I were gay, not there's anything wrong with that, I would lust after him. But since I'm not, I'll just say he is very insiteful on his take on human nature.

Have a good weekend all.

A few pics from the snow this past weekend.

No, I didn't take them. They were pilfered from the newspaper.

View from Needles Hwy, S.D.

Playing with Paint Editor.

from Needles Hwy in South Dakota